These guys were the most *incredible* cover band I've ever heard... perfect renditions of Elton John, the Cars, the Police, the Eagles, etc... and yet between sets, they'd dedicate the songs in thick Indian accents!

While resting between sets the other day, 'the guy I pay to workout with me' asked me to tell him a joke. Now, I'm not really the type to have a lot of jokes at the ready, so what do I do? I throw an old one from my dad at him:

Me: See, there were these two men going down the street, right?
Venky: Yeah, okay.
Me: One guy walked into a bar. The other one ducked.
Venky: [blank stare]

Nuance is almost always lost in translation, and that doesn't bode well for a sense of humor like mine. I realized long ago that this was the reason I could never happily date someone whose English wasn't native... there's too much involved in the intonation, delivery, and slight-of-humor that I enjoy in conversation. Especially in romance, it's important for me to find that someone with whom the laughs flow naturally in everyday discourse without having to pause for effect or secretly hope the other person isn't just laughing along... that someone who is not only witty in herself, but is the cause that is wit in other people.*

With a bit of a charade and my use of the squat bar as a prop, however, Venky was soon (genuinely) chuckling along. I tried to think of other trusty old standbys - blonde jokes, knock knock jokes - but they all failed me in their inability to span cultures. Perhaps I should've just stuck with the world's funniest joke.

* paraphrase of Shakespeare's King Henry IV part ii, where Falstaff quotes, "I am not only witty in myself, but the cause that wit is in other men."

Wireless Internet Kiosk in a remote village outside Chennai

At first glance, perhaps the above picture doesn't impress you. Look closer... you'll see a self-contained power supply consisting of a UPS and a car battery, a functioning printer, webcam, speakers and microphone, and a cable leading to a 64kbps wireless link. Now look beyond... you'll see that this equipment is situated in a tiny building in a remote village, about two hours from the nearest major city. Yep - you got it - a fully functioning internet kiosk in the middle of nowhere!

Now what's really cool is that this is part of a project that's being run out of IIT Madras, where the goal is to make these kiosks financially self-sustaining. That means the kiosk owner essentially buys into a franchise of sorts (about Rs 10,000) and then charges for usage according to preset rates. Take this woman, for instance, who runs this kiosk as part of a self-help group that has secured microfinancing from a nearby bank. After being put through a training course, she now serves as the accountant, computer expert, and technician for her little business. She makes about Rs 1000 per month; this is more than she used to earn as a field worker, and this job affords her the ability to keep an eye on her 1 year old daughter at the same time.

So for what do people use the system? Mostly the stuff that we (Americans) did when computers first came out -- games and tutorials (learning computer skills and English), as well as chat and some word processing. The latter category of online communication is limited to a small percentage of the population, however, because it's incredibly difficult to find an interface that allows users to type in their native languages; almost all keyboards in India are in English, and there's no easy method of transliteration.

Let's get something straight. My dad is cooler than your dad. I mean seriously, can *your* dad even weld, much less pull off a custom-painted, auto-darkening, self-recharging welding helmet?! I didn't think so.

So here's a happy birthday blog post to my pops, a man who commands respect for his intelligence, wit and kindheartedness, the man who has taught me the ins and outs of being a good human, and the man who has shown me that you can do pretty much anything with common sense, hard work and a few good power tools. :) Love you, Dad!

Whenever it hits me, I think I'll start posting a few rants & raves. A quick couple that are top-of-mind:

RAVES:
The Food: almost all of the meals I've eaten here have been outstanding. Growing up in Wyoming, I never acquired much of a taste for spicy food, in fact, I usually stayed away from it. Now I get disappointed when meals aren't spicy enough! It's funny -- everything I eat (besides bran cereal and powerbars) is spicy hot -- the breakfasts (upamaas and dosas and iddlies), lunches, dinners, even the snacks - Lays even makes special spicy versions of their chips called Chaat Street - will make your tastebuds snap to attention. :-)

The People: man, are people friendly here. There is such a sense of hospitality and approachability, and everyone seems so sincere. There has not been a single time (yet?) that I've felt awkward or threatened in any way. It has made it very easy to feel really settled here.


RANTS:
Pollution: To be completely honest, the air here in Bangalore (far worse than most of India) is terrible; my eyes burn and my sinuses start to hurt if I spend too long near a crowded street. As I mentioned before, it always smells like theres a fire burning somewhere nearby. Something has got to be done.

Everyone is angry at America for not signing the Kyoto Treaty to limit greenhouse gas production... but one of the main reasons for the refusal of the Bush administration is that the Kyoto Treaty puts no restrictions on developing nations -- particularly India and China. And I agree that is a death knell for the world. Technologies have come so far; there is NO reason, for example, that the thousands of rickshaws here should be running two-stroke engines. (Two stroke engines burn a mixture of oil and gas, making them constantly spew a toxic bluish smoke.) Developing countries need to be held to a correspondingly higher standard -- one that's correlated to both today's anti-pollution technologies & fuels and their current/projected contribution to world GDP per capita.

Trash: There are practically no public trash cans to be found *anywhere* in this city, even in the most developed areas. So everyone is forced to litter. Every few days, women come along and sweep the trash into piles. Then the garbage trucks come and a whole crew of people pour out to pick up the trash *by hand* into baskets and load it onto the trucks. Or the piles get burned right there in the street. So much of this filth and energy could be spared by having a dispersed network of trash cans and dumpsters like we do in the US. Given that there are no real constraints to implementing this, I hold this to be a major shortcoming of the government here.

Don't get me wrong, of course -- I've found it quite easy to adapt to everything here... I just think it's important to realize that it doesn't have to be this way as India plans its future.

On the catwalk of the Blenders Pride Fashion Tour 2005.

The pics don’t even come close to doing it justice, but you can see the whole gallery here, including a fun one of me with Malini Ramani – one of India’s top designers. I think we’ll really start seeing much more of the Indian-fusion styles come to Western markets – note that it would be exceptionally rare to see any of the racy outfits from the show on display in real life here in India itself…

For women, at least, India has some great fashion. The colors are brilliant, and there has been a lot of innovative design on even the traditional outfits. The sari – which is most readily recognized as that of a traditional Indian woman’s - is made of a short blouse and petticoat and six meters of fabric that’s wrapped in an intricate way. Many of the women here (40%?) wear these on a daily basis. The fabrics come in amazing patterns, weaves, and colors – Bangalore is famous throughout India for its Mysore Silk – a gorgeous, lightweight soft weave that often includes intricate patterns made of real gold thread.

And some might remember the dress-over-jeans look that was popularized by the New York fashionistas and Sex in the City… hello – have you seen a Salwar Kameez? Let’s give credit where credit is due!

Men and boys, on the other hand, almost exclusively wear slacks and button-up shirts everyday; aside from any reflections I pass by, I can go an entire weekend without seeing a pair of shorts or a t-shirt. I have seen really small children in shorts (part of their school uniforms), but that’s it. Note that it’s getting quite hot here now – 85-95 degrees F. I would think that the necessity to stay cool would have already outstripped the cultural norms of having to wear pants every day. I, for one, have long since given up trying not to look like an outsider… being white and 6’2” doesn’t afford me much of a disguise anyway. :-)

A warning to moms everywhere: you might want to skip this post :)

Yes, despite the most sincere attempts to dissuade me by both Sonia's mom and mine, I took a (short) ride on a motorcycle yesterday. Jagadish, Google's cleaning manager, and I had been talking for sometime about how he was finally going to get his bike (a Bajaj Pulsar - slogan: "Definitely male. Fully loaded at all the right places."), after two-years of saving! This puppy retails for about Rs. 60,000 (US $1375) , with 150cc of pure power. He was stoked! He even bought special sweets for the occasion and handed them out to everyone at the office and guesthouse.

I met him at the office on Saturday afternoon, and he wheels it out in the sunshine... I have to say, it's a good looking bike. He fired it up and tells me to jump on the back... um, okay. I mean, motorcycles outnumber cars here probably 3 to 1 and very few people wear helmets, so odds are I'll be just fine, right? Right. Next thing I know, we're zipping down the middle of the road (very common to drive in the middle instead of your lane), and he asks, "You like crash driving?" Crash driving, as I already knew, is the common term for dodging in and out of traffic, which is the way everyone drives. Lanes are optional, signaling unheardof, and the thought of yielding to pedestrians is downright laughable. As long as you've got a good horn (this bike does -- it's as loud as a car's) and quick reflexes, you're set.

I don't think I'll be taking another ride soon, but I have to admit it was fun. I took a few small videos to try and capture the experience. Click on these links to view:

Note: if the videos are choppy, stop and replay after a second or two.

"You like crash driving?"
"So this is crash driving"
"Hello, bus!"
"Right at the Y... no, left!"
and a fun video of what it's like to try and cross the street

So many things about this place will make you re-assess what you've heretofore perceived as normal... one eye-opener that has continued to surprise me is how comfortable men and boys are with their other male friends. It's nothing to see two grown men holding hands walking down the street, and teenage boys can often be seen with arms around necks, waists, or just walking together in really tight groups. Note that this is *completely* platonic and shouldn't be given a second thought. You would think that someone who's lived in San Francisco for the last five years wouldn't even be phased, but truthfully, I'm still working on it...

In particular, my trainer (hate that word... how about "the guy I pay to workout with me?") at the gym here frequently insists on taking me by the hand as he leads me from machine to machine. Now you have to believe me that this guy is the straightest arrow imaginable. He's 22, about a foot shorter than me, and he's a damn good spotter. But he does insist on straddling me and sitting on my stomach when I'm doing dumbell flys because it helps keep my form in line and makes it easier for him to help with those last few reps. No one else in the gym gives us a second glance, so I just roll with it.

I wonder if any of this has evolved because, traditionally, men aren't supposed to touch women in public... so this would fill that need for physical contact. Though nowadays, you'll see young couples holding hands at the movies and such. In any case, I'm really impressed with the lack of stigma around this -- let's hear it for brotherly love! Seriously -- at the very least, why should I be given to any awkwardness when hugging male friends hello/goodbye? As for holding hands, well... baby steps, people! :-)

The power went out the other day. Actually, it went out ten times. The first couple caught me off guard and I looked up from my computer monitor... to my surprise, I was the only one. Our building has these Uninterruptible Power Supply (UPS - basically giant batteries) units that run the network, phones, computer, and emergency lights. In fact, most affluent homes have them as well. So aside from the sudden darkening, it's business as usual, unless you're in the bathroom where there are no emergency lights (as I may have discovered later)...

One of the first things I noticed upon my arrival was the sheer state of disarray of the electrical transmission infrastructure. The above photo is of one unit that I run by on my way to the gym. Power substations like this exist on practically every block; this is much more expensive to maintain than the more distributed hub-and-spoke model that the US uses, and no doubt leads to the cause of many outages. Next time you're near one of these in the US, note how it's guarded like a mini Fort Knox -- fencing, razor wire, etc. As you can see, it's a little more Darwinian here...